Tuesday, May 19, 2015

Reflections on forgiveness | The Wellbeing Series

The unravelling of wisdom often comes in tiny, sparkling moments amongst the mess and chaos of everyday life. It's like a bright jewel lost in tall grass. Or the filtered sunlight through the redwoods. You only find it if you stop, happen to search for it or stumble over it. Deep seeded within me despite all the loud, is a desire for spiritual and emotional transformation. I am a pilgrim. 
A long time ago I acknowledged that the way to living an Intentional life is such a long, wild and often long stretching path. Unpaved, bumpy, wild and at times wonderfully surprising. I've walked confidently in the journey and other times, lost the path and veered off course when it has all been a bit much. It gets hard to achieve a slower pace to do soul work. Life doesn't slow down nor does the responsibilities and pressures to achieve, do and be.

With paint, brush and pen I have been attempting to find space for 'me'. To reflect on my life, find my joy and also let go of emotional strongholds. These past months l have spent much time contemplating forgiveness. It's remarkable the ease in which bitterness and resentment manifests itself in life and the realisation that holding it in isn't healthy, positive or life-giving. For years l buried it down and submerged it within Christian platitudes without fully acknowledging it and taking the opportunity to learn from it. When one truly embraces those negative emotions, gives them audience and then lets them go, it's amazing how quickly forgiveness and understanding can be practised in daily life.

There will always be careless actions, harsh words and wrongdoing but I have realised that it's in these moments to take a deep breath, speak our truth and realise that this too shall past. For so long l have longed to let go of emotional ties, bitterness and situations that have left me confused, disorientated and often feeling such immense self-doubt and guilt. I've been skilled at adopting the blame and not realising that it's often a dance between our imperfections and another's. It takes time to work through issues and realise that freedom comes from letting go, loving others and forgiving. It's been a really strong theme over the past few months and it's been a struggle. I am imperfect and broken and yet over time l have found immense beauty in accepting it in myself and others. 

So when the negative hits you, because at some point it surely will. Realise this. Everything you are feeling at this moment is valid. Your thoughts, ideas and feelings are all worthy of your attention, witness and love. Don't simply react, don't lash out for the sake of emotional release. Embrace the whole of your experience completely. Acknowledge it, sit with it and then let it all go. Adopt a life filled with grace, forgiveness and compassion for others and especially yourself. Take the space needed to be still and acknowledge all that is going on. Speak your mind if it's true to your heart. Be authentic in all you do. And embrace imperfection, God's limitless love and grace that moves us to wholeness because then we are truly able to live an intentional life, honestly and with true grace.

You can read more of the Wellbeing Series on Intentional living here.

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