Sunday, July 19, 2015

30/52: a portrait project


" a portrait of my children, every week, for 2015."



Little Fox| the beginning of a great love for books.   


Miss Five| it's beautiful watching your love affair with reading. Hearing you spell out words and seek out your favourite stories. 



Siblings| You're quirky, funny, creative and all mine. 

I'm joining Jodi over at Practising Simplicity for the 52/2015 project. Slow winter days inside making tents, fire on, rolling out dough, reading books and wearing our winter woollies. 


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Thursday, July 16, 2015

29/52: a portrait project


" a portrait of my children, every week, for 2015."



Little Fox| always exploring  



Miss Five| I look at you with such wonder





Siblings| Winter archaeology.

I'm joining Jodi over at Practising Simplicity for the 52/2015 project. I want my children to grew up with full memories of exploring, adventure and simple days of play. These are the days l cherish.


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Sunday, July 12, 2015

28/52: a portait project


 
" a portrait of my children, every week, for 2015."



Miss Five| amongst the redwoods you gathered and wove branches into the nest. 
Every time we visit you notice small changes and create such rich story. You are blessed.



Little Fox| Exploring, inquisitive and always searching.


Siblings| Winter weaving and the making of a shelter amongst the redwoods.

I'm joining Jodi over at Practising Simplicity for the 52/2015 project. 
The last week of holidays and the beauty of Winter in nature. The very thing that makes my 
soul sing.


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Friday, July 10, 2015

Reflecting on Mothering and the need for calm





Mothering is such a tremendously life changing journey. I've stepped off the path lately in my mothering, my bare feet muddied in the sandy depths of family life chaos with two under six and the feelings of disillusionment about who l am meant to be. 
I've come to the realisation that I need to come back to the core of my beliefs. To hold and nurture within the noise and thread of everyday life. I thought that supporting and nurturing the transition from toddlerhood to child for my eldest would be a smooth, joyful experience for the both of us. In truth it's been such a beautiful journey but messy too. The often turbulent raw emotions, stilted communication, abundant love and sharing and then reactive misunderstandings has left me feeling hopeful one minute and then bereft the next. So where along the way did I lose the thread of what I was trying to do? In dealing with challenging behaviour when did it all become tangled when it didn't need to be? 
How do I correct the movement of our family relationships into more calmer waters where love, grace and acceptance are lore. How do I learn calmer ways to speak and then listen in order to guide my children to embrace and love one another? 
It's a revelation to accept that too often I have become a shouty mum, lacking in the space and calm to turn things around. I've simply felt in those moments like there's nothing left up my sleeve. That of course needs to change. I realise that self hatred and mother guilt is pointless if we desire to speak lovingly to our children and yet it does not first start with ourselves. I'm am beautifully imperfect, passionately fierce in my care of my tribe but often frustrated when tired that I miss opportunities to build pathways to communicating and resort to shouting in order to get things done. I can honestly say I dislike myself when I act like this. Their are nights I weep at my failings because I feel the limitations in my mothering and relationships and am only slowly gaining wisdom in how to move forward and transcend these problems.
When my language has left no room for love or building emotional resiliency because my communication is reactive and non inclusive I'm sure it's left Poppy feeling hurt and lacking. Or when I become frustrated at Tully's active play that I become hyper vigilant around safety that I restrict his opportunity to explore and grow because of the injuries. 
I need to seek forgiveness for that from both my children. Then I need to carve out a new path of working together to create and weave a stronger story and relationship built on working through obstacles and confusion that is more inclusive, loving and tangible. There will be times that old patterns will resurface but I need to change the course we are travelling. To seek the reasons why conflict has arisen, to build pathways to understanding unspoken feelings and symbolically finding ways to work through them in more congruent ways.

My children are the best teachers.  I often get obsessed with the chaos and crumbs and lose sight of what's important. Being present and enjoying my tribe need to take priority. To breathe deeply and reclaim my footing. I want to gently nurture and embrace my tribe rather than berate. I want joy, unity and grace to be tangible in our everyday life. So I begin again, one step in front of the other.



You can read more of the Wellbeing Series on Intentional living here.
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Tuesday, July 7, 2015

27/52: a portrait project.


  " a portrait of my children, every week, for 2015."




Little Fox| Winter wanderings.




Miss Five| tree climbing with your cousins.




Siblings| A cherished moment.

I'm joining Jodi over at Practising Simplicity for the 52/2015 project. 


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Monday, July 6, 2015

26/52: a portrait project.





" a portrait of my children, every week, for 2015."




Little Fox| Exploring our local farm for an afternoon picnic.


Miss Five| so at home here.




Siblings| Winter picnic after school finishes for school holidays. Some of our favourite things.

I'm joining Jodi over at Practising Simplicity for the 52/2015 project. 


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Friday, June 26, 2015

25/52: a portrait project.


  " a portrait of my children, every week, for 2015."



Little Fox| Winter calls for a fire. 


Miss Five| your love of nature, animals and art. 


Siblings| Winter solstice lantern walk


I'm joining Jodi over at Practising Simplicity for the 52/2015 project. 


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Friday, June 19, 2015

Wintertime around here



As we have entered into a time of restful replenishment as the days have grown shorter and the last light falls in the late afternoon. We have taken time to sit in the chai tent, dance to the beat of the drums and slow down a little. I long for the school holidays when we can set a gentler pace. A wander through the redwoods, chai at St, Andrews, nature walks in the mountains and a beach walk with friends. 

I've been quiet in my writing, over the past few months as we have journeyed with my mum in packing up my childhood home and supporting her tree change. I've cared for my parents for more than two decades and then for my mother when dad passed. There comes a time when you witness your parent no longer able to do things that were once easy and this change is timely, as I hope for a different daily life for my mother. One of community, inclusion and support that is not dependant on my tribe alone. I want her happy and content.  The packing of years of belongings some important and others destined for the op shop has been cathartic in many ways. The end of a season of our lives and the space created for new beginnings and new discoveries. I've been mindful to take photos of my little ones with Nana, in my old bedroom and playing as these are their memories and mine entwined. It is a good walking away from the past and the anticipation of the future seems bright.  It's taken much time and most of our energy, leaving me depleted and tired emotionally and physically. As l get older l am more accepting of my limitations and the need to honour our experiences and the resulting cost. I ended up sick and the tribe coming down with flu and congestion which made rest more important than ever. I've surrendered to my bed and couch when needed the last two weeks. I accepted that l had to  admit that l needed help and had immense gratitude for Adam's parenting and care as l fell apart. 

I watched the first frost hit the young seedlings in the veggie patch as they pushed through the soil and into the light in recent days. We have enjoyed telling stories of Jack Frost and King winter and the beauty of this weekend's Winter Solstice. In the mornings the mountain is covered in mist and the gums are moved by strong winds. I have been supporting local producers and eating locally. Stopping off for bags of carrots, potatoes and greens and bags of chai {great recipe here} for home after school drop off in the mornings. Bone broths {recipe here and here}, slow cooked braises {recipe here}, pressed juices, fire on as Tully plays. Oils of lavender and eucalyptus burnt in the kitchen to clear the air and help settle grumpy dispositions. Organic eucylptpus balm rubbed on bare chests  covered by winter woollies and handmade quilts. 

Leaves collected for our Winter Solstice lanterns for the lantern festival and the daily ritual of returning to the winter table for story telling and play. Winter as always been about drawing within and reflecting on the strength and beauty of the great Creator. Winter is a time for quiet, stillness and rest. To go gently and to surrender and replenish. To rediscover our inner passion and unique self {read a great article here}. I have a contentment in my life more now than in the past as l accept my everyday with mindfulness instead of planning ahead and looking forward for happiness. My happiness is now, today, here. More than ever this winter, l have stopped and slowed down and enjoyed the slowness without conflict or the feeling that I should be busy and 'doing'. I want to honour this on Saturday as l light our lanterns and with my tribe do the lantern walk. I long to create our own winter spiral for my tribe after reading about one tribe's ritual walk and how much meaning it would have for my little ones {read Sparklestories winter spiral here}.

This afternoon we will make our lanterns, drink Chai and draw winter pictures taking time to create and go gently as l am reminded that to learn to live a slower pace is something l long to impart on my two. 

How are you celebrating Winter?













Wednesday, June 17, 2015

24/52: a portrait project


  " a portrait of my children, every week, for 2015."



Little Fox| Those curls, long eye lashes and cheeky smiles.


Miss Five| you are perfection, in your joy, infectious laugh and ability to tell a great bath time story.


Siblings| With the whole of my being l want joy, happiness and contentment for you both.


I'm joining Jodi over at Practising Simplicity for the 52/2015 project. Moments captured with a Canon 5D by my friend Ramak. We had dinner, bath time and then bedtime stories together. These are the days I want to cherish and remember here for my tribe. This is their story as much as mine.


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