Saturday, April 12, 2014

Mothering with acceptance, reflecting 15 months on- The wellbeing series




"It's good to leave each day behind, like flowing water, free of sadness. Yesterday is gone and its tale told. Today new seeds are growing." Rumi 


I came across this saying a while ago and it's been a reminder to be present in my daily life and practice awareness. Not just about my surroundings, but also with my mothering, what's happening for my children and to look within. Living with mindfulness that each new day holds new possibilities.

It's easy to get caught up in old scripts, letting the past take hold and allow negative experiences to dictate the present, or to let a bad day {days} with the kids dictate the week ahead. It's a conscious decision to walk from it, to move beyond it, and I confess it's been hard to do it this week. It's also made me stop, breathe deeply and focus on love instead of my stream of thoughts. Challenging behaviors from my wee ones has left me feeling like I'm mothering in the trenches for much of this week. I've been drained without an ounce of compassion or patience.... I'm that exhausted. I can admit it. The end of the kinder term saw a huge shift in energy with Miss 4. Little Fox continues to teethe and want to be held and there just doesn't seem enough to go round. 

I recognise it's during these times, that it's easy to be hurt by careless words and left teary. To react rather than take a step back and focus on what's happening in the body, to refocus on the heart, to actively embrace and accept God's grace and love. I've been incredibly emotional this week and instead of squashing it down like I've done in the past, I've embraced it with acceptance and honesty. Being a mum is hard work. I've needed some care and support and I'm ok with that. 

I'm learning to take a deep breath and let the day that's been go, to address hurts on the spot and process them. I'm finding it's easier that way, but it is still a process. My mother embraced me with tears in my eyes the other day and gave me exactly what I needed a steaming bowl of scrambled eggs and understanding. It meant the world to me right then. I didn't feel so alone.
Last week l sat by the river with Little Fox and watched the flow and ebb of the river. I realised that it's life; it's mothering, the flow, the constancy, and the changing current, the shifting of direction and lack of control at times. The need to trust and have faith. It's up to us to either embrace the changes with love and acceptance or continue to experience resistance.
Our daily experience is like a river and I'm letting the current take me where I need to go. I trust that even in my limitations that God will instill in me all I need and the wisdom to be a good and loving wife and mother.  I want to mother with love and be an example of kindness, acceptance and understanding to my children. I might feel lacking right now but no matter what I will love, I will be there for my little ones, tears and all and I will be honest about the journey with them. I think it's the greatest example I can provide for them. Miss 4 hugged me before falling asleep tonight, she said no matter what you do, it doesn't change that I love you. They were my words said to her over the years, feed right back into my heart, right when I needed a reminder. Letting go of all that's been, knowing that tomorrow is abundant with new possibilities. 
I'm breathing deeply, I'm letting go. I'm resting, embracing grace and opening my heart. 
Tomorrow is a new day. 

How do you navigate the waters of your own life? What helps you stay grounded?
X Mummafox
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